Thursday, December 2, 2010
Suicide and First Responders
By: Gerry Mahoney
For most of us the most profound
events in our lives can be the day we marry, the birth of our children or the
day we receive the big job or promotion we are looking for. While those
milestones in my life have all been extremely joyous events I will cherish for
a lifetime; the most profound event was the day my older brother; David, took
his life at the age of 42. That day has had more of an effect on my life than
all the others. August 2, 1997, my life changed forever.
I am the youngest of four children. I
grew up in the “typical” Irish-Catholic middle class family. My dad was an
elementary school principal; my mother had worked as a secretary for many years.
Things like suicide and mental illness weren’t supposed to happen in my family;
they happened in those other families that I read about in the newspaper.
What I have learned in the thirteen
plus years since David’s completed suicide is these things transcend race,
class, education levels, income and every other demographic imaginable.
I made two promises to my brother
when he died. The first was to do whatever I could for his wife and two small
daughters. The second was to do whatever I could to make sure nobody
experienced the pain and confusion I felt after his death, coupled with a
profound sense of loneliness.
We have a real problem in this
country when it comes to mental illness and to suicide. It is the proverbial
elephant in the room. If we don’t talk about it, it will go away. Well guess
what? Not only is it not going away, it seems to be getting worse. Some Data
In 2007 there were approximately
35,000 documented suicides in the United States. The actual number is felt to
be closer to 50,000. The reasons for the discrepancy are many. In many cases
the death appears to be accidental, in others it may be disguised by family or
friends who discover the deceased because of concerns over life insurance.
I have done a number of presentations
on this topic. I always ask this question: You respond to a single car motor
vehicle accident, an unrestrained operator is the sole occupant of the motor
vehicle that has struck an object on a sharp curve in a road. The operator is
DOA. Is this an accident? Or is it a suicide?
Suicide is the 11th
leading cause of death in the United States. It claims more lives than
HIV/Aids. It is the third leading cause of death among those ages 15 to 24.
More teenagers and young adults die from suicide than all other medical
illnesses combined. Yet, it barely gets a mention in media reports; or in
policy discussions in state houses or the halls of congress.
Why is it that we have all kinds of
high profile fundraising events for breast cancer, Alzheimer’s, diabetes and
muscular dystrophy (as we should), yet nothing for mental illness? Mental Illness
I have discovered that many people
view mental illness as a sign of personal weakness. Does anybody really believe
that an individual wakes up one day and decides they are going to go through
their life tormented emotionally and mentally? My brother once confided in my
sister that he went through every day with his head in a black cloud.
After returning to work in the
Cambridge Fire Department the week after David’s death, a Lieutenant on the
ladder company in the house where I was a Lieutenant on the engine company
stopped in to see me in the company office. He inquired about me and the rest
of the family to see how we were coping. He told me he didn’t really understand
mental illness (at the time neither did I) and he was curious how it “worked”.
I paused for a few moments and gave him this explanation which I have been
using ever since: If a person has a cancerous brain tumor, the tumor can be
seen through diagnostic examinations and tests like MRI’s and/or CT Scans or
even through surgery. With mental illness it is a cancer of the mind. We all
have a mind, but it cannot be seen. It is an abstract. And as is the case with
all forms of cancer, sometimes there is success in treating or removing it and
many times there is no positive outcome.
The newspapers and television have no
shortage of stories of mental illness related incidents. Here in the Boston
area in the past week alone a middle aged man jumped in front of a subway train
taking his life and a man killed his girlfriend and her sister before killing
himself. Whenever we hear the name Virginia Tech, we remember the horrible
events of April 16, 2007. As I tell my children there is a difference between
an excuse and an explanation. There is no excuse for what took place in
Blacksburg, VA but there is an explanation. Before Seung-Hui Cho became a
violent criminal, killing 32 people, he was sick. I do not condone or make
excuses for what he did, but our failure in this country to effectively deal
with the mental health crisis will only lead to more incidents of a similar
nature. Sadly our nation’s first responders are intricately woven into the
long-term damage of these events as well.
In the past few years we have made
significant progress in addressing the issue of critical incident stress in our
first responders. However, we have many miles left to walk. Because our
military forces are so heavy with active duty reservists, (many of them police
and firefighters) we now have on our hands the issue of soldiers on the front
lines of Iraq and Afghanistan returning to their full-time job on the streets
of America facing stressful, sometimes horrific situations.
We place an emphasis on health
wellness. As many say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. But do
we place an emphasis on mental health wellness as well? Do we speak up when a
co-worker is showing signs of depression or anxiety or only when he or she
seems to be having traditional health issues?
Do we take into consideration what
our brother firefighter or police officer may be dealing with?
There is a term we use in this
country. We bandy it about like we mention the weather. The term is
dysfunctional family. I’ve used it myself plenty of times. When I do my
presentations on suicide I always emphasize if nobody gets anything out of my presentation,
please at least take this lesson with you when you leave: There is no such
thing as a dysfunctional family, there are just certain levels of
dysfunctionality in every family! Everybody is dealing with something!
My experience of nearly twenty-eight
years in the fire service has proven one significant point relative to this
discussion. Those who claim the loudest that their family is perfect, that
nothing unusual is going on; well they usually are the ones with the most
“stuff” on their plate!
We work and live in a fast paced
stressful society. By our nature we are drawn into dangerous stress filled
situations repeatedly. But we are human beings complete with all kinds of
frailties.
I could never have predicted what I
was going to feel when my brother took his life. But those are emotions and
problems I will never forget. It is so important to remember that help is
available. When we experience symptoms that are signs of a potentially
dangerous medical condition we do something about it. We need to get our people
to take the same approach with mental health. It is a sickness; it is not a
sign of weakness.
There is an old saying that after a
death, particularly an unexpected or tragic one to “just get through the first
year” and everything will be OK. Once we get by the first Thanksgiving,
Christmas, Birthday or Anniversary the pain and sorrow will magically fade
away. Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way.
I was beset by a rapid onset of an
anxiety disorder fifteen months after David died. I had heart palpitations,
fear, sweats, loss of appetite etc. Thankfully I was able to get help and get
it quickly. I was able to deal with it and move on.
If you are suffering the effects or
symptoms of a mental health related condition, reach out for help. See your
primary care physician. If something is bothering you at home or in work reach
out for help. If your department does not have some sort of peer support or
employee assistance program find out why. Be proactive in addressing the issue
of stress and mental health well being in your workplace. We need to take care
of ourselves and each other.
I recommend the following materials
as a way to better understand the mental health problem.
American Foundation for Suicide
Prevention www.afsp.org Darkness Visible by William Styron College Of The Overwhelmed by Richard Kadison
M.D. After Suicide Loss:
Coping with Your Grief by Bob Baugher and Jack Jordan
Gerry Mahoney is a Deputy Fire Chief in the Cambridge,
MA Fire Department where he was appointed in 1983. He holds a B.S. Degree in
Public Administration from Boston State College and a M.A. Degree in Public
Administration from Framingham State College. He is a member of the
Metro-Boston Critical Incident Stress Management Team as well as the Cambridge
Fire Department Critical Incident Stress Management Team. He is an adjunct
faculty member at Bunker Hill Community College and Merrimack College
